The Candid Thoughts of Jana
Something profound happened to me this past weekend. For most people this is usually a common experience earlier in life. At least, I hope it is. For me, this is still fresh in my mind, newly minted, and life-changing. For most of my life, I have not had anyone to date. As a male, I…
Yesterday I filed the paperwork for my legal name change. It was the beginning of the final step of my transition. It was also the most nerve wracking day I’ve had since I came out to my friends the first time. Had my best friend not been there as a bedrock of calmness, I don’t…
I have reached the point in my career where I want to move into a pure management position. That’s not to say I don’t want to write code anymore, or won’t, but that I want my daily activity now to be managing a development team. Part of the reason is that I have simply lost…
Recently, I’ve had to re-enter the job market. This is normally a process I go through every year or so. It’s just the nature of the tech industry in Atlanta–you don’t get a promotion or a raise unless you move to another company that offers you both. This time, however, my move was involuntary. I…
Sometimes I wrote a poem that was clearly not meant for me at the time–it was meant for me now. I supposed, at the time it was written, that it was wishful thinking instead of prophetic, but I’ll probably never really know. This poem is about stepping out from the ruins of my wall and…
I love books. I have loved them since I was a child. They have taken me to the most wonderful lands and introduced me to the most amazing and diverse people–lands and people far more interesting and deep than those I knew in real life. After all these years, I am now even writing my…
To ring in the new year, I thought I’d tell you more about my core value and philosophy. They are really quite simple when boiled down: Fairness and Happiness. Of course, those two words mask a lot of meaning, so let me break down what they mean to me. Fairness This is my version of…
From time to time, I will post some of my poetry here, especially the ones I find relate to my life before transitioning. Several of my poems are my subconscious telling me that I need to transition, that I’m actually trans. These were all written a decade or more before I consciously understood my true…
When I first started taking hormones a year and a half ago, I made a conscious decision to put my life on hold. My reasoning was sound: I’m was going to be undergoing a lot of physical and emotional changes, and maybe it wasn’t the best time to make life altering decisions. I assumed that…
Before I came out at the office, I was terrified of what would happen when I did. At some point that terror got superseded by the emotional need to stop living a dual life. Fear became a secondary, and then even a tertiary consideration. Simply living a complete life became my overriding concern and desire….